We all know of confident people who walk tall, speak with self-assurance and never seem fazed by work, family or anything else. By comparison, they might make use feel anxious, overly apologetic, and full of self-doubts and negative thoughts. However, don’t be fooled by first impressions, many people have moments where things don’t look so great – it’s just that some of us are better at putting on a brave face than others.

How To Get Your Confidence Back

When your confidence does take a nosedive due to circumstances, such as relationship problems, issues at work or family worries, try to think of it as a temporary setback and address the issue before it gets worse. Self-confidence is something that we can learn, helping us to cope with stress and anxiety, feel good and have a more positive attitude. Not only that it can rub off on other people, so if your family members or friends are going through a rough period, your self-confidence and ability to face issues head-on can inspire them too.

Self-Efficacy

Self-efficacy is the strength of your self-belief in your ability to achieve your goals. Albert Bandura, a prominent psychologist created the ‘Self-efficacy model’, suggesting that self-confidence comes from self-efficacy. This model suggests that self-efficacy influences the way a person thinks, feels, acts and, therefore, makes decisions. A person can work to develop the task-oriented skills and motivation to succeed at their own level of self-efficacy. For example, if you were an athlete and have had a setback where you have been injured and stuck at home for a while, you might have felt depressed, your self-confidence dipped and feel sorry for yourself, you can raise your self-efficacy and self-confidence level by looking at your past achievements and draw on those past accomplishments. By using mental imagery/ rehearsal techniques, vivid imagery of past performances and positive thoughts you can change your mindset and work towards positive goals.

Also, you can identify and dispute your irrational thoughts or maladaptive thoughts, which are called cognitive distortions through a process called cognitive restructuring. 

Here is a PDF document to help you create a goal-setting system, which is one of the most important skills you need to become and remain self-confident: Create a Goal Setting System

Tips to build your self-confidence:

Here are some techniques you can try at home to help build your self-confidence, helping you cope with life’s challenges:

  1. Look at your past achievements and feel proud of the things you have done and achieved in the past.
  2. Notice where your past self-belief and resilience came from and trust in yourself to be self-confident again.
  3. Identify your weaknesses and work on strengthening them.
  4. Create a goal setting system and expect to be successful.
  5. Visualise positive thoughts and rationalise negative patterns of thinking.
  6. Lean on a close friend for support.
  7. Have a strong mental imagery of success in your mind.
  8. Clear all mental blocks and increase your motivation to succeed.
  9. Deep breathing and relaxation exercises.
  10. Self talk such as affirmations and positive words to keep your momentum going.
  11. Look at the way you think of yourself and change it around due to something that is bothering you and making you feel low and not confident.

Face your fears, put everything about your life into context and don’t let failure take over your life and build your interests and skills. You can look forward to a bright exciting future with confidence.

If you have any questions about self-efficacy and how to build your self-confidence, please get in touch. Leave a comment below or call / email me directly: 0796 7151790 / info@formindssake.com


“A first timer at Hypnotherapy, I chose Andrea because she was well qualified and uniquely, has nursing experience. What I didn’t know was how caring and reassuring she was! I immediately felt I had come to the right person. I suffered from extreme anxiety, low self-confidence, and low self-esteem and also doubted my ability is making decisions. With her professional help, I have worked through unresolved issues and my self-confidence improved drastically. More importantly, I have learnt a lot about myself, have self-worth and also worked on how to deal with various problems/issues life throws at me. Clinical Hypnotherapy was a wonderful and insightful experience” Paula.