More than 80% of the world’s population wrestles with low self-esteem and self-confidence.
Perhaps it is the nature of our ever-increasing fast-paced living, increasing tech-induced disconnection from genuine, healthy relationships, highly competitive work lives, or social media convincing us that everyone’s lives are perfect except ours – whatever the reasons, low self-esteem now seems like an epidemic.
The good news is, if you are one of the majority of individuals suffering from low self-esteem, it doesn’t have to stay that way.
Identifying the Problem
First, what is low self-esteem?
Low self-esteem is having a poor opinion of yourself. People suffering from low self-esteem often experience feelings of dislike and even disgust with themselves, often struggling with habits, behaviours, and attitudes that they do not like but feel hopeless to change.
Individuals with low self-esteem feel like the world is against them, that no one likes them, and that things will always go wrong. They tend to see themselves as victims of bad luck and a hostile world and are convinced that nothing will ever change.
As a result, individuals with low self-esteem shy away from sharing their thoughts, trying new things, and joining in activities. They tend to be very needy, always seeking the approval and affirmation of those around them, yet when receiving it, are likely to scoff at it or disbelieve its sincerity.
This failure to participate and thrive in a social environment and life in general then feeds their low self-esteem and creates a vicious, downward cycle.
Clearly, this is not a healthy way to live and it hurts everyone. Low self-esteem in relationships, regardless of what type, can make the relationship feel like a burden, can lead to fights and complications over the smallest issues, and can ultimately sabotage and destroy the relationship altogether.
If any of these habits or attitudes sound familiar, you may need help with your self-esteem issues. If you suspect you do, you can take a self confidence test to help you assess where you are.
Do you do struggle with low self-esteem? there is hope! You can learn how to overcome low self-esteem!
Improving self-esteem is an ongoing process and a constant check on your thoughts and attitudes. As you learn how to build self-esteem, just keep in mind that these new steps and habits need to become a way of life and are not just a quick, one-time fix. And be patient with yourself!
Now, here are a few tips on how to improve self-esteem:
- Say “no” to the negative voice in your head. We are our own worst critics and enemies. And the battle for self-esteem starts with our own thoughts about ourselves. Furthermore, when your inner critic begins saying destructive things like: “You’re lazy”. “You’re too ugly to be with your partner to get a partner”. “They’re going to find someone better at this job” etc. It’s time to tell it “No”. You don’t have to listen to it. Next, choose a word or phrase to say back to that voice to get it to stop. Then, replace the destructive thoughts with positive ones or helpful ones. Also, refocus your attention on something else that is good.
- Spend a little time affirming yourself each day. First, each day if you write down at least two or three things that you like about yourself or about what you did that day. It can be something small, like “I kept a positive attitude during a stressful moment at work today”. Or “I said something nice to my spouse”. Find something about yourself to be pleased with every day.
- Reject perfectionism. Equally important when you have the unrealistic expectations of perfection in tasks or relationships, you set yourself up for failure. Also, you will either be too afraid to try something new because you will tell yourself there is no way you can achieve it to your expectation. Or you will attempt it, fail to reach perfection, and then beat yourself up for it. Nothing and no one is perfect. Do not set that as your goal and don’t beat yourself up for missing it. Instead, identify what is most important to achieve in the task or relationship, set a standard for what is sufficient, and aim for that.
- Look at mistakes and failures as opportunities. Beating yourself up for mistakes does not prevent you from making them again. It actually increases the likelihood that you will continue to make the same mistake. Moreover like with perfectionism, realize that everyone makes mistakes and fail at times. The greatest world leaders, inventors, authors, etc. all have massive failures and mistakes in their past. The difference is, they chose to learn from them, grow, pick themselves back up and try again. Next time you make a mistake or experience failure, don’t give in to abusing yourself for it. In fact, admit it, ask yourself what you should do differently next time to avoid making the same mistake again.
- Take care of yourself. The way you treat your body reflects how you feel about yourself. If you neglect showering and basic hygiene if you always look sloppy and dishevelled. It gives your inner critic ammunition and you will like make yourself feel bad about it. Take those daily showers, brush your teeth, fix your hair, put on clothes that fit you and make you feel good. Taking care of yourself reminds you that you are worth the time it takes to care for your body. And tells you that you can feel better about how you look.
Finally, if you struggle with low self-esteem but feel like you need help. Get a start on changing your outlook, there are many methods that can help, including hypnotherapy and seeing a behaviour therapist.
Read more of how I can help in other ways: https://formindssake.com/2016/06/13/5-powerful-ways-build-self-confidence/
I am a Qualified Clinical Hypnotherapist and Cognitive Behaviour Therapist. Contact me today for a free session to learn more about my process and how we can get you onto the road to higher self-esteem.