How to Develop Self-Confidence

How to Develop Self-Confidence

In a world, that is increasingly too fast-paced and competitive to allow genuine, deep and lasting relationships and self-care. It really should not come as a shock that low self-confidence has become a pandemic. Over 80% of the world’s population is said to suffer from low self-esteem and a lack of self-confidence.

The world cannot continue to run well on individuals who have no confidence to be leaders and to stand up for what is right.

The good news is that there are not “confident people” and “un-confident people”. As though it were a genetic trait you are stuck with. If you, like the majority of people in the world, struggle with a lack of self-confidence, know that you don’t have to struggle with it forever. You can achieve healthy self-confidence.

In this post, I will explain the importance of self-confidence and provide practical tips on how to develop self-confidence. And also positive attitude so that you can begin moving forward toward a more confident and effective you.

Let’s Clarify

It is important to understand what is meant by “self-confidence" and how to develop self-confidence.

Unfortunately, many assume that self-confidence is just arrogance or narcissism. For many suffering from low self-worth and confidence, this thought pattern can actually be a part of what holds them back from trying to change their outlook on themselves. They do not want to be “arrogant” and so don’t pursue a better view of themselves.

However, there is healthy self-confidence that is neither arrogant nor narcissistic, and it is vitally important for individuals to develop.

How to Develop Self-Confidence

If you are wondering: how can I be confident in myself? You can be encouraged and know that it IS possible. It will take a little time. But be patient with yourself and after a while, you will start noticing a difference.

If you are ready for a more confident you, try following the self-confidence tips listed here:

  1. Change your thought patterns:  Your battle for building self-confidence is won or lost in the mind. Negative thoughts, such as “I can’t do this,” “I’m just going to fail again". “I don’t have anything valuable to say” tear down your confidence and prevent you from even trying. To change your negative thoughts into positive ones, first, start identifying with them. And calling out negative thoughts as soon as they occur.                                                                                                                   Second, replace the negative thought. Change the “I’ll never be able to do this” to “If I work really hard. I think I can do this". When you think about something you can’t do or something you don’t like about yourself, change it by thinking about something you can do or something about your personality that is positive.
  2. Create a gratitude list. One of the best ways to start changing your mindset (self-confidence) is by focusing on the good things that you do have in your life, instead of all of the seemingly bad or lacking things. Each day, spend time writing down good things that happened to you, things that you have that you are thankful for, and things that you did or felt that day that you can feel good about. Big or small, write them down.
  3. Take care of yourself. How we treat our bodies translates into how we think about ourselves. Taking a shower each day, brushing your teeth, combing and fixing your hair, wearing nice clothes that fit you well. And being able to take pride in your appearance will all contribute to making you feel better and more confident about yourself. Self-care is looking after yourself, telling yourself that you are worth the time and attention. You feel confident about how you look.
  4. Give yourself permission to make mistakes. If you strive for perfection, you will easily fail. And/or keep yourself from even setting goals or trying new things. If your expectation is perfection, then you could easily think “Why even try – I won’t be able to do it right”. Or “Why do I always screw up.”No one is perfect.                                                                                                                                            The most successful individuals in our world made huge mistakes on their journey to success. Failure, when handled with the right attitude, can actually be responsible for future success. So set reasonable, small goals for yourself that you can achieve one at a time, but then be ok when you make a mistake or something doesn’t go right. Instead of beating yourself up about a mistake, focus on how you can change your approach next time.
  5. Stop comparing yourself to others. With things like social media, we often only see the best and greatest successes of our friends. And we often have a “grass is always greener” approach when looking at everyone else. This can make you feel like a failure or like you’re not doing things right. But this is not true, as every single person has ups and downs and struggles. But what other people are doing or not doing is irrelevant. Focus on YOUR goals, what matters to YOU. If you don’t know what these are, spend some time pondering it and writing your thoughts down. If you try to strive for those goals and be satisfied with what you have decided matters most.

Next Steps

If you feel like you may need help retraining your thoughts and learning how to develop self-confidence while speaking or just in general, consider seeking professional assistance.

Learn more of how to overcome stress and anxiety to build your self-esteem: https://formindssake.com/2018/05/29/help-for-low-self-esteem/

Andrea Smith is a Qualified Clinical Hypnotherapist and Cognitive Behaviour Therapist with a Masters in Psychology. To discuss your situation and learn about her unique process, book your free consultation with her now to develop self-confidence! https://formindssake.com/contact/


Help for Low Self-Esteem

Help for Low Self-Esteem

More than 80% of the world’s population wrestles with low self-esteem and self-confidence.

Perhaps it is the nature of our ever-increasing fast-paced living, increasing tech-induced disconnection from genuine, healthy relationships, highly competitive work lives, or social media convincing us that everyone’s lives are perfect except ours – whatever the reasons, low self-esteem now seems like an epidemic.

The good news is, if you are one of the majority of individuals suffering from low self-esteem, it doesn’t have to stay that way.

Identifying the Problem

First, what is low self-esteem?

Low self-esteem is having a poor opinion of yourself. People suffering from low self-esteem often experience feelings of dislike and even disgust with themselves, often struggling with habits, behaviours, and attitudes that they do not like but feel hopeless to change.

Individuals with low self-esteem feel like the world is against them, that no one likes them, and that things will always go wrong. They tend to see themselves as victims of bad luck and a hostile world and are convinced that nothing will ever change.

As a result, individuals with low self-esteem shy away from sharing their thoughts, trying new things, and joining in activities. They tend to be very needy, always seeking the approval and affirmation of those around them, yet when receiving it, are likely to scoff at it or disbelieve its sincerity.

This failure to participate and thrive in a social environment and life in general then feeds their low self-esteem and creates a vicious, downward cycle.

Clearly, this is not a healthy way to live and it hurts everyone. Low self-esteem in relationships, regardless of what type, can make the relationship feel like a burden, can lead to fights and complications over the smallest issues, and can ultimately sabotage and destroy the relationship altogether.

If any of these habits or attitudes sound familiar, you may need help with your self-esteem issues. If you suspect you do, you can take a self confidence test to help you assess where you are.

Do you do struggle with low self-esteem? there is hope! You can learn how to overcome low self-esteem!

Improving Self-Esteem

Improving self-esteem is an ongoing process and a constant check on your thoughts and attitudes. As you learn how to build self-esteem, just keep in mind that these new steps and habits need to become a way of life and are not just a quick, one-time fix. And be patient with yourself!

Now, here are a few tips on how to improve self-esteem:

  1. Say “no” to the negative voice in your head. We are our own worst critics and enemies. And the battle for self-esteem starts with our own thoughts about ourselves. Furthermore, when your inner critic begins saying destructive things like: “You’re lazy”. “You’re too ugly to be with your partner to get a partner”. “They’re going to find someone better at this job” etc. It’s time to tell it “No”. You don’t have to listen to it. Next, choose a word or phrase to say back to that voice to get it to stop. Then, replace the destructive thoughts with positive ones or helpful ones. Also, refocus your attention on something else that is good.
  2. Spend a little time affirming yourself each day. First, each day if you write down at least two or three things that you like about yourself or about what you did that day. It can be something small, like “I kept a positive attitude during a stressful moment at work today”. Or “I said something nice to my spouse”. Find something about yourself to be pleased with every day.
  3. Reject perfectionism. Equally important when you have the unrealistic expectations of perfection in tasks or relationships, you set yourself up for failure. Also, you will either be too afraid to try something new because you will tell yourself there is no way you can achieve it to your expectation. Or you will attempt it, fail to reach perfection, and then beat yourself up for it. Nothing and no one is perfect. Do not set that as your goal and don’t beat yourself up for missing it. Instead, identify what is most important to achieve in the task or relationship, set a standard for what is sufficient, and aim for that.
  4. Look at mistakes and failures as opportunities. Beating yourself up for mistakes does not prevent you from making them again. It actually increases the likelihood that you will continue to make the same mistake. Moreover like with perfectionism, realize that everyone makes mistakes and fail at times. The greatest world leaders, inventors, authors, etc. all have massive failures and mistakes in their past. The difference is, they chose to learn from them, grow, pick themselves back up and try again. Next time you make a mistake or experience failure, don’t give in to abusing yourself for it. In fact, admit it, ask yourself what you should do differently next time to avoid making the same mistake again.
  5. Take care of yourself. The way you treat your body reflects how you feel about yourself. If you neglect showering and basic hygiene if you always look sloppy and dishevelled. It gives your inner critic ammunition and you will like make yourself feel bad about it. Take those daily showers, brush your teeth, fix your hair, put on clothes that fit you and make you feel good. Taking care of yourself reminds you that you are worth the time it takes to care for your body. And tells you that you can feel better about how you look.

Next Steps

Finally, if you struggle with low self-esteem but feel like you need help. Get a start on changing your outlook, there are many methods that can help, including hypnotherapy and seeing a behaviour therapist.

Read more of how I can help in other ways: https://formindssake.com/2016/06/13/5-powerful-ways-build-self-confidence/

I am a Qualified Clinical Hypnotherapist and Cognitive Behaviour Therapist. Contact me today for a free session to learn more about my process and how we can get you onto the road to higher self-esteem.


Common Mistakes When Trying to Lose Weight fast

Common Mistakes When Trying to Lose Weight fast

Obesity has become an increasing problem in our fast-paced world that often keeps us too busy to fix and enjoy healthy foods and lifestyles. Lose weight fast is no easy task. It requires changing our habits and routines and is not about one quick fix.

If we want to be successful at losing weight and maintaining a healthy weight, we must persevere in changing patterns regarding what and when we eat as well as our physical activity.

Often times, though, it is not only what we eat and what we do for exercise that impacts our success or failure to lose weight. It is also what we think and believe. So many people meet defeat in their minds long before their new diet or exercise regime fails. Then, when the fad diet or exercise plan of choice does fail (or we fail at it), it drops us deeper into self-defeating attitudes.

Losing weight fast for women is especially difficult. It is so easy for women especially to suffer from poor self-image and confidence based on their repeated struggles to lose weight. But self-defeating attitudes, poor self-esteem, and bad expectations or misguided beliefs can all sabotage our best attempts to achieve fast weight loss.

If you are struggling with unwanted weight gain and are looking for ways to lose weight, keep reading. I’ll first address many of the mistakes people make when they do try to lose weight, many of them based on wrong assumptions or bad attitudes. Then I’ll discuss methods of how to lose weight fast and easy and keep it off.

Finally, consider how cognitive behaviour hypnotherapy as part of your weight management program may benefit you and give you the jump start and motivation to lose weight.

Mistakes to Avoid When Trying to Lose Weight

Unfortunately, there are many weight loss myths and attitudes out there that many of us believe. But which unfortunately are likely to have the opposite of what we’d hoped.

Here are some common mistakes to avoid when you are trying to lose weight and develop a healthy self-image:

  • Weighing every day: This is one of the least helpful and mentally discouraging habits you could have while trying to lose weight. Remember that our body weight fluctuates by up to 4lbs on a given day. Also, remember that muscle weighs more than fat, so if you are exercising, the scale may not show the difference, but your clothes and profile certainly will. Do yourself a favour and avoid the scale except for occasional check-ins (maybe once a month).
  • Obsessing over calorie count: Food and healthy eating habits are more than calorie counting. Furthermore, even if you are consuming low calories, if you are not exercising, you may still not be burning more than you eat. But if you are exercising with a low-calorie diet, the lack of sufficient calories could lead to muscle loss and a slowing down of your metabolism.
  • Not exercising: Like it or not, exercising is necessary for a truly healthy body. Also, proper exercise is going to go a long way in helping you lose fat and excess weight. Additionally, because you can lose muscle mass as well as fat during weight loss. The best way to ensure that you keep muscle is by exercising. Of course, you can go to the other extreme and exercise too much, which could lead to potential stress and injury to your body. The biggest thing to remember is a healthy balance.
  • Overestimating exercise: Many people make the mistake of assuming that if they run (or exercise) for 30 minutes a day. It will burn off whatever unhealthy food they decide to consume that day. This simply isn’t true. What takes seconds to consume can take over an hour to burn off. You need to make healthy eating choices and exercise, not one or the other.
  • Diet foods: This is a tricky one. So many foods advertise themselves as diet or “natural”. But many of these products replace calories with sugar to help them taste better. This ends up being just as unhealthy and contributing to weight gain anyway. Additionally, while many of these foods may contain fewer calories up front, they leave you hungrier. Also, you may overeat later.

Steps to Take to Start Losing Weight Fast

Successful weight loss is often much simpler than we want to make it. Often, the following simple steps can go a long way to starting you on a successful weight loss journey:

  • Stay positive: Do not allow negative thoughts and self-defeating attitude to creep in. When your inner critic tells you “I can’t do this” or “I’ll just quit again,” tell it to stop. Think about all of the positive long-term benefits and pleasures you will be able to enjoy by succeeding. Then tell yourself you can do it one small step at a time.
  • Keep it simple: Don’t over-complicate the process with difficult meal plans and exercise routines that take hours a day. Start small and keep it simple. Choose whole foods over processed foods when you can, eat when you feel hungry but eat smaller portions and stop when you are full.
  • Set realistic goals: Don’t start by trying to accomplish what you envision is the perfect, ideal diet and exercise routine. If you haven’t been disciplined in your eating or exercising habits before, jumping from nothing to body-builder plan will result in defeat. Set realistic goals, implementing just a couple of small changes at a time. Start with steps you know you can accomplish to build your confidence and momentum.

I love helping clients accomplish their weight loss goals. And helping them see it can be much easier and simpler than they thought. Please give me a call today to learn more about how hypnotherapy can help you accomplish your weight loss goals.


Tips for dealing with anxiety and stress

Tips for dealing with anxiety and stress

The number of people suffering from anxiety and depression has unfortunately sky-rocketed even in just the last ten years. They may lack anxiety coping skills. (tips for dealing with anxiety)

World events, ever-increasing demands to live fast-paced, non-stop lives. Social media tends to make people compare their lives to others, times of recession. All of these and more are likely culprits for why so many individuals now find themselves wrestling with the beast of anxiety. So, how to deal with anxiety and stress?

But there is hope. There are methods you can begin right now to help you cope with anxiety when it comes. If you want to know how to control anxiety attacks and how to get rid of anxiety naturally, keep reading as we review simple tips you can do at home.

Then whether you want to find success and not using the anxiety self-help tips for dealing with anxiety without medication. You should still consider talking with a therapist to help ensure a proper foundation for staying mentally healthy and strong.

As a qualified clinical hypnotherapist & cognitive behaviour therapist, I have helped many people learn how to deal with anxiety attacks without the use of medication. You can schedule your free 30-minute session with me. Discover how hypnotherapy could help you learn how to overcome anxiety and depression.

How to Overcome Anxiety and Fear

For those who wish to avoid the often potentially harmful depression and anxiety medications, there are options. Many have found themselves capable of dealing with anxiety without medication. When they practice some of these mental exercises and habits (anxiety coping skills list).

Try one or all to see which ones help you overcome your anxiety:

  • Exercise: Physical exercise has incredible physical AND mental health benefits. When you exercise, the brain releases chemicals and hormones that cause relaxation and feelings of well-being and happiness. Physical exercise also decreases stress hormones. And helps the body get rid of toxins that could be contributing to an overall sense of poor physical and emotional health.
  • Self-soothe: When you feel anxiety coming on, learn methods to soothe and calm yourself down, such as:
    • Remind yourself that you will be okay and that this anxiety will pass – it won’t stick around indefinitely.
    • Practice deep breathing and count as you breathe. The action of deep breathing does actually soothe the brain. Counting will distract your thoughts from dwelling on your fears.
    • If someone came to you about fears or anxiety, odds are you could think up a couple of phrases of encouragement & comfort. Do the same for yourself, instead of feeding your anxiety with negative thoughts.
  • Avoid anxiety-inducing foods and substances:  Unfortunately, there are many substances in the average diet that can instigate or contribute to anxiety. These include caffeine and alcohol. Caffeine is contained in foods and drink such as coffee, sodas, tea, chocolate, etc & can trigger panic attacks, trembling, shaking. Having a healthy diet, in general, will also contribute to a healthy gut. Many studies have discovered is very important for mental health. So try cleaning up your diet in multiple areas.
  • Journal:  Many times, keeping our fears and anxieties in our heads causes them to perpetuate and keep us from being able to move on. But when we write things down, our minds tend to relax and allow them to be let go more easily. To that end, start a journal where you write out your fears and anxieties. This will help your mind to stop fixating on them. It also helps the more logical part of your brain see that these fears are often unwarranted. Further, keep a journal for positive things or a gratitude journal. Spend time every day writing about good things that happened and that you are thankful for.
  • Distract: While an anxiety attack often makes us want to be alone, that is actually the least helpful thing. It gives us room to fixate and be consumed by our fears. Instead, distract yourself. If you can, go out with friends, go to that event you had planned. Or even turn on a comedian’s podcast or show. Do something that distracts and redirects your thoughts.

It is OK to Seek Help

Read more about the other services I provide: https://formindssake.com/2017/03/27/5-things-can-boost-self-confidence/

While there are many methods for controlling your anxiety at home. But if you are struggling to figure out how to deal with anxiety attacks and fear in your life, there is no shame in seeking professional help.

If you feel like you need a boost in your journey to overcoming anxiety, contact me to arrange your free 30-minute consultation today.